Steven Universe: The Musical
by The Lillie
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Featuring ten original songs and two songs from the show. Includes events of "Cry For Help", "Friend Ship", "Back to the Barn", "Sworn to the Sword", "Rose's Scabbard", and more. Ships include StevenxConnie, RosexGreg, RosexPearl, PearlxAmethyst, and possibly LarsxSadie. Disclaimer: I don't own SU or any of its characters, songs, or events.
1. Program and Synopsis

STEVEN UNIVERSE

THE MUSICAL

 _Act One_

Prologue: Look At Me...Pearl

Overture: We Are the Crystal Gems...Instrumental

Welcome to Beach City...Steven, Connie, Ensemble

The War...Garnet, Dancers

Danger Zone...Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl

Fusion Decision...Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet

Garnet's Rage Rap...Garnet

Welcome to Beach City (Reprise)...Steven, Connie, Peridot, Ensemble

 _Act Two_

The Way Things Are...Peridot

For A Nerd...Amethyst

Danger Zone (Reprise)...Greg

Do It For Him/Do It For Her...Pearl, Connie

Look At Me (Reprise)...Pearl

I Gotcha Now...Full Cast

Finale: We Are The Crystal Gems...Full Cast

SYNOPSIS

The story opens on the tragic farewell of Rose Quartz, the powerful and beloved leader of the Crystal Gems. She has chosen to give up her physical form in order to give birth to a half-human child, Steven, with her husband Greg. None of the other Gems want to see her go - especially Pearl, who has dedicated her life to serving Rose and wonders how she will survive without her ( **"Look At Me"** ). Flash forward approximately ten to thirteen years, and we see now-honorary-Crystal-Gem Steven Universe giving his friend Connie a tour of his hometown, along with introducing her to many of the fun and quirky characters who live there ( **"Welcome to Beach City"** ). Upon their return to the temple, Steven notices that Peridot is sending messages to Homeworld via the Communication Hub. Peridot's arrival provides the catalyst for the Gems to tell Steven about **"The War"** , in which other Gems from Homeworld invaded Earth and Rose Quartz turned against her kind to free humankind. In order to prevent other Homeworld Gems from coming back and enslaving the earth once more, the Crystal Gems decide that the best course of action is to destroy the Hub. Steven wants to bring Connie on the magical mission with him and the Gems, but the Gems are hesitant to bring him into the **"Danger Zone"** , and decide to leave him at home with Greg and Connie. At the Hub, Garnet states that the best way to destroy the Hub is by fusing, though she can't decide whether to form Sugilite or Sardonyx. Both Amethyst and Pearl want to fuse with Garnet, and give different reasons why the **"Fusion Decision"** shouldn't be too hard. Eventually Garnet decides to fuse with Pearl, and Sardonyx destroys the tower. When the Hub is repaired twice more after this, Steven decides to investigate with Connie and Amethyst, and they discover that Pearl has been repairing the Hub in order to have an excuse to form Sardonyx. Garnet is enraged to learn that she has been deceived ( **"Garnet's Rage Rap"** ). Later, Pearl decides that the only way she can make it up to Garnet is to capture Peridot, leading to a condensed version of the events of "Friend Ship." After escaping the ruined ship, the Gems finally succeed in capturing Peridot. Steven quickly tries to befriend Peridot, introducing her to Connie and to the town ( **"Welcome to Beach City (Reprise)"** ).

In Act Two, Peridot reluctantly concedes to reveal the threat of The Cluster to the Crystal Gems. When Pearl comes up with the idea for the drill and they begin building, Peridot is stunned at the dynamics of the Gems, stating that the caste system from Homeworld is simply **"The Way Things Are"** and the way they should always be. Steven leaps strongly to his friends' defense and Garnet insists that they stay unruffled by Peridot's prejudices, but Pearl is especially shaken and gets into a fight with Peridot. The altercation is interrupted by a small earthquake, which Peridot worries is a sign that the Cluster is nearing doomsday; Garnet quickly puts emphasis on completing the drill with no further distractions. However, Amethyst quietly expresses how cool - **"For a Nerd"** \- Pearl was for putting Peridot in her place. When Connie comes to see how the drill construction is going, she overhears Garnet talking about the fusion monsters on the loose, and mentions a desire to learn some fighting techniques so she can defend her friends and family. Steven tries to persuade Pearl to teach Connie how to sword fight, but Pearl refuses; when Steven and Connie look to Greg for support, he simply reiterates that the Gems want to keep them safe ( **"Danger Zone (Reprise)"** ). Finally their insistence leads to the events of "Sworn to the Sword" ( **"Do It For Him/Do It For Her"** ); however, at the end, instead of allowing herself to be reassured, Pearl flees to the Strawberry Battlefields like in "Rose's Scabbard." Alone and desperate, she contemplates on both the joy and the guilt of forming Sardonyx, and compares it to the memory of fusing with Rose. Finally Steven catches up to her, and manages to console her a little ( **"Look At Me (Reprise)"** ). When they return, Amethyst is clearly overjoyed and relieved to see that Pearl is okay, but shyly shakes it off. Surprised, Pearl quietly reflects to herself how much Amethyst has grown and matured recently, and opens herself to the notion that she might - possibly - be developing feelings for her; in the end, though, she doesn't care what the future or the past holds, as long as they all have each other right now. The entire main cast (possibly including intermittent bits with Lars&Sadie and other Beach City families) comes together for **"I Gotcha Now"** , where they reflect on the past (Pearl and Garnet's fight, Rose's "death", Peridot's prejudice, etc.) and the future (budding romance between Steven & Connie and Pearl & Amethyst, Peridot's acclimation to Earth, the danger the Cluster poses), and decide that what truly matters is the present moment. Steven immediately ruins the epic dramatic tension of the final note by breaking off early and exclaiming that he just thought of an amazing theme song for the Gems to sing while charging into battle against the Cluster: **"We Are The Crystal Gems."**


	2. Prologue: Look At Me

_(Open on the beach, early evening - the sun is about to set. GREG is standing awkwardly by the van while ROSE bids goodbye to the Gems - GARNET is doing her best to remain stonefaced, AMETHYST is openly crying, PEARL has obviously been trying to protest for a long time before now giving up. ROSE lightly pats GARNET's head.)_

 **ROSE:** You'll all help take care of Steven, all right? Promise?

 **GARNET:** Promise.

 **AMETHYST:** _(nods)_ Promise.

 **ROSE:** Pearl?

 _(PEARL hesitates)_

 **PEARL:** I promise.

 _(ROSE smile and softly cradles PEARL's cheek in her hand. Teary-eyed, PEARL leans into her hand and clings to her arm, very sad.)_

 **ROSE:** I love you.

 _(PEARL looks up, stunned and hopeful - but ROSE has already turned away from her.)_

 **ROSE:** I love you all so much. _(She hugs AMETHYST, then GARNET, perhaps giving one of them a kiss on the head. Then she steps back and takes GREG's hand.)_

 **ROSE:** Goodbye.

 **GARNET:** _(nods)_ Goodbye.

 **AMETHYST:** _(choked up)_ Goodbye.

 **PEARL:** Goodbye, Rose.

 _(GARNET puts her arms around her comrades' shoulders and turns them toward the temple. They only go a few steps before AMETHYST runs back and launches herself into ROSE's arms. They hug for a second, then PEARL returns and sheepishly pulls AMETHYST away. They continue offstage.)_

 _(Silence falls. The sun is setting over the temple, but ROSE is staring at the ocean. GREG nudges her a little; she turns and smiles at the sunset. Then she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.)_

 **ROSE:** I'm ready.

 **GREG:** You sure?

 **ROSE:** Yes. I'm finished with my goodbyes… I will miss these sunsets, though.

 _(GREG takes her hand. She turns to him, starry-eyed but also teary.)_

 **GREG:** Steven will enjoy them for you.

 _(She smiles, then they kiss.)_

 **ROSE:** Take good care of him. And make _sure_ Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl help you.

 **GREG:** Psh, I don't need their help.

 **ROSE:** Yes, you do.

 _(He laughs sheepishly, admitting affirmation. She kisses him again, a little bit longer, a little bit sadder. The sun has entirely disappeared, but the leftover rays still leave an orange & purple glow over the scene.)_

 **ROSE:** Do you remember that night, all those years ago, when you tried to fuse with me?

 **GREG:** _(chuckling)_ And massively failed?

 **ROSE:** _(laughs, then sobers)_ I want to try again.

 **GREG:** W-what? You know it won't work -

 **ROSE:** It will work - in a way. Steven will be like our fusion.

 **GREG:** I don't know, Rose.

 **ROSE:** _I_ know, Greg. _(she holds out her hand and leans in)_ Will you share one last dance with me?

 _(GREG hesitates, then takes her hand.)_

 **GREG:** I'd do anything for you.

 _(ROSE laughs. Then she sweeps him onto the dance floor. The music for_ Look At Me _begins, a soft, slow piano foxtrot with jazz undertones. PEARL steps in from offstage, unseen by ROSE and GREG; she has been watching the whole time.)_

 **PEARL**

Look at you

Look at your smile

Look at the way you look at him

Like he's your universe

Look at him

Look at his eyes

Look at the way he loves you more

Than anything on Earth

Look at me!

Look at my face!

I've followed you

Through time and space!

And now you're leaving me

For him?

Look at me -

How will I live

Without you?

 _(Brief instrumental, 2-4 measures. Spotlight focuses on GREG and ROSE dancing, laughing and twirling each other around)_

 **PEARL (cont'd)**

Look at you

This is your choice

This is the way that you will stay

With your universe

Still, I wish

I'd had a voice

I wish that I could make you stay

With me, here on Earth

Look at me!

You've never seen

That all I want

Is you and me!

 _(ROSE and GREG freeze; blackout. Spotlight on PEARL.)_

Millennia away from home,

A war we might have never won,

I turned my back on all I had

For you!

And when the earth was fin'ly free

I thought you'd finally look at me

But now I look at you

 _(Spotlight is now also on Rose; she is obviously very happy to be with GREG for these last moments)_

And now I look at you

 _(music swells; ROSE and GREG spin around on last time)  
_ **PEARL (cont'd)**

I'm looking at you

I'm seeing your smile

You're looking at him

Like he's your universe

You're looking at him

You're seeing his eyes

He loves you much more

Than anything on Earth

I love you

But he loves you more than I can ever dream

 _(ROSE and GREG stop dancing and kiss. A flash of pink light hides ROSE from view.)_

 **PEARL**

 _(slowly, quieter; accepting)_

I'll care for him

 _(The light fades, and ROSE is gone. GREG holds baby STEVEN.)_

I'll do anything for him

And when he looks at me

I'll see you

Look at me.

 _(GREG hugs STEVEN close; PEARL mimics the movement, arms around herself. Curtain.)_


	3. Scene 1: Welcome to Beach City

_(Play Overture: We Are The Crystal Gems. Halfway through, open curtain on STEVEN and CONNIE, playing or chatting on the porch. Both are dressed casually, STEVEN in his trademark star shirt and jeans and CONNIE in overalls or shorts with her glasses hanging on her shirt collar. As the music fades, the kids are laughing.)_

 **STEVEN:** Aw, man, Connie, that was the funniest joke I've ever heard! Where'd you learn it?

 **CONNIE:** _(sheepish)_ One of my mom's coworkers had it taped up in their office.

 **STEVEN:** Do you know any other like that?

 **CONNIE:** No, that's the best one. Although I did overhear a pretty funny story at the hospital once.

 **STEVEN:** Hmm...we should go on a joke hunt! Travel all over town and ask everyone what their best jokes are! I bet Lars and Sadie have a _bunch_ of awesome jokes!

 **CONNIE:** Lars and Sadie?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah! You don't know Lars and Sadie? They run the Big Donut.

 **CONNIE:** My parents don't let me eat donuts. They have...trans fats.

 **STEVEN:** Well, you must have seen them working outside, right?

 **CONNIE:** Actually, I don't really see anyone around here much except you. I mostly stay inside.

 _(STEVEN gasps loudly, shocked and appalled by this revelation. He grabs CONNIE's hand and excitedly pulls her down the stairs, causing her to yelp but then cheerfully follow along)_

 **STEVEN:** Come on! We gotta give you a tour of the whole town right now! I'll introduce you to everyone! GarnetAmethystPearl, I'm taking Connie into town for a while! We'll be back later!

 _(PEARL opens the door, surprised and confused, and watches the kids run down the beach)_

 **PEARL:** Oh - be safe! _(she sighs)_

 _(AMETHYST appears behind PEARL)_

 **AMETHYST:** Ooooh, they're going on a _date!_ Hahaha!

 **PEARL:** Don't be silly, they're far too young.

 **AMETHYST:** _(ignoring her)_ Steven and Connie, sittin' in a tree, K-I-

 **PEARL:** You're ridiculous. _(she closes the door)_

 _(Spotlight on the Big Donut. Music for_ Welcome to Beach City, _upbeat and brass-powered,_ _begins as STEVEN and CONNIE bounce toward the door)_

 **STEVEN**

First up on our marvelous tour of the town

Donuts at the Big Donut

Make the world go round!

They're gooey and they're squishy, so you'll never frown

When you're at the Big Donut

Except for when they stopped selling Cookie Cats, but _(lying)_ I'm over that!

 _(Music continues, quieter, as they enter the store. SADIE is at the counter serving a donut to JENNY, while LARS leans boredly against the wall, playing on his phone. JENNY pays for her donut and walks past the kids.)_

 **JENNY:** Hey, Steven! _(ruffles his hair)_ Hey, Steven's friend! _(winks at CONNIE; then leaves)_

 **STEVEN:** That's Jenny Pizza. We'll meet her later.

 _(They approach the counter. The music swells as STEVEN begins singing again)_

 **STEVEN**

Sadie, my lady, may I ask, por favor -

Connie's never been here

Tell her all 'bout the store!

 **SADIE:** _(surprised; unsure, hesitant to sing, but wants to make STEVEN happy)_ Oh, um -

Here we sell donuts at a pretty good price

They're not very healthy, but

I still think they're nice

So hey, what's your order?

 **STEVEN:** The usual, times two! _(winks at CONNIE)_

And while we're on the subject, I've another request

What's your favorite joke?

What makes you smile the best?

 **SADIE:** _(handing him the donuts and accepting his cash)_ Hm? Oh, I dunno -

 _(LARS finally looks up from his phone, and grins meanly)_

 **LARS**

Hey! I know a joke that'll blow you to space

And it's right in front of me

Want a hint? It's your face!

 _(He cracks up, and SADIE yells at him. CONNIE looks cautiously to STEVEN, who seems unfazed)_

 **STEVEN:** Lars and I are pretty much BFFs.

 **CONNIE:** Do he and Sadie...get along?

 _(LARS and SADIE are both yelling at each other now, now throwing some pretty personal insults.)_

 **STEVEN:** They're crazy about each other.

 _(He looks down at his donuts, then smiles and hands one to CONNIE. She tentatively takes and nibbles it a little as they leave the store)_

 **STEVEN**

In Beeeeeaach City!

Everything's alright

The sky and the sea

Are as blue as can be

In Be-each Ci-i-ty-y!

 **CONNIE**

In Beeeeeaach City,

I met my first best friend

 **STEVEN:** Aw, shucks!

 **BOTH**

So let's give a hand

For making new friends

 **STEVEN**

Welcome to Beach City!

Come on! Next stop, Fish Stew Pizza!

 **CONNIE:** Whaat?

 **STEVEN**

Jenny and Kiki are the Pizza Twins

They don't like that title, but

I think it's a win

Kofi's their dad, and Nanefua's his mom

And they make Fish Stew Pizza all the time, all day long!

 **STEVEN:** Two pieces of pizza, please - and your favorite joke!

 **KIKI:** Ooh, I've got a good joke. What does an aardvark like on its pizza?

 **CONNIE:** I don't know, what?

 **KIKI:** Ant-chovies!

 _(STEVEN and CONNIE are silent for a moment, then they gasp and laugh out loud as the realization of the pun hits them. JENNY saunters up and leans on the counter, still eating her donut)_

 **JENNY**

Oh, come on, Kiki, that's a terrible pun

Kids, listen close:

I got a really good one

What's the best way to catch a fish?

 **STEVEN:** Uhh - _(excited)_ Lure it in with Fish Stew Pizza!

 _(At this, we suddenly realize that RONALDO has been sitting in the back of the restaurant the whole time, and now he loudly spits out his drink and stands up.)_

 **RONALDO:** CANNIBAL FISH!

 **KIKI:** Aw, that's nasty!

 **JENNY:** Naw! The best way to catch a fish - is to have someone throw it to you!

 _(STEVEN and CONNIE laugh. RONALDO sits down, slowly, still not entirely ruling out the possibility of cannibal fish. Now it's Nanefua's turn to poke her head over the counter.)_

 **NANEFUA:** Steven, I hear you are on a joke hunt?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah! And I'm showing Connie around the town!

 **CONNIE:** Hi, ma'am!

 **NANEFUA:** Well, I know the perfect joke for you and your friend.

Once there was a pizza sitting next to a fish

They both went in the oven

For a nice dinner dish

The pizza turns around and says "Hey! It's too hot!"

And so the fish replies

"Aah! A talking pizza!"

 _(Laughs from everyone who heard, except RONALDO. CONNIE may throw in a quick, confused comment on how 'hot' doesn't rhyme with 'pizza')_

 **RONALDO:** Cannibal fish - talking pizzas - I gotta update my blog! KEEP - BEACH - CITY - WEIRD!

In Beeeeeaach City!

Always keep it weird!

Whatever I see is a conspiracy

In Be-each Ci-i-ty-y!

 _(As he runs out, MAYOR DEWEY walks in, looking very self-important, ready on his toes to join in on this musical number)_

 **MAYOR DEWEY**

In Beeeeeaach City

 _(puts his arm around CONNIE, perhaps inadvertently a bit more forceful than necessary)_

We love to make new friends

New friends guarantee

One more vote for me!

Welcome to Beach City!

 _(He releases CONNIE and straightens his tie. CONNIE rubs her head, and STEVEN gives her her pizza as MAYOR DEWEY leaves.)_

 **STEVEN**

That was Ronaldo, the one with the blog -

He's a cool guy, but -

 **CONNIE**

He is kind of odd.

 **STEVEN**

Yeah. And that's Mayor Dewey, the city's head guy!

With him as our mayor,

everything is alright!

Come on, we've still got half the town to ask for jokes! _(He takes CONNIE's hand to lead her out of the restaurant, which is kind of difficult since she is now holding a donut and a slice of pizza - STEVEN has already eaten all of his)_

 **CONNIE:** Wait, we've already been through half the town?!

 **STEVEN:** Well, not exactly. We've still gotta visit -

 _(As he says each name, the characters enter on stage, add something to CONNIE's pile, and strike a pose)_

Mr. Smiley _(game tokens)_

and the Frymans _(fry bits)_

and Jamie _(one or two random letters)_

and Onion _(it might be a bomb but it might be just pretend)_

and Sour Cream _(some electronic thing)_

and Buck _(psh idk a dollar? no wait a tshirt)_

and Sadie's mom _(a handful of glitter)_

and Onion's mom _(just a little hair ruffle)_

and Onion's dad _(a fish)_

And, uh -

 **KEVIN** _(swooshing)_ Kevin! _(gives CONNIE nothing)_

And the eyepatch guy!

And the Pizzas again! _(another piece of pizza)_

And Lars&Sadie again! _(another donut)_

And Mayor Dewey again! _("Vote Mayor Dewey" buttons)_

 **MAYOR DEWEY**

And Iiiiiiii….

 _(The music stops. He holds this note for a long time. Everyone else is frozen - except CONNIE, who is trying to stand still but at the same time is struggling to hold all the stuff she's been given. MAYOR DEWEY continues to hold the note - and continues - people are starting to teeter - BUCK is facepalming - somebody checks a watch - he continues to hold the note - finally -)_

 **MAYOR DEWEY**

-I'd like to say, since we're all gathered here,

Vote Mayor Dewey

For four more great years!

 **STEVEN**

And I'd like to ask, as my final request -

Hey town! What's your favorite joke?

 **ENSEMBLE**

Oh! My joke's the best!

 _(They all break out of formation and begin talking over each other, each having a different opinion on what the best joke ever is. STEVEN becomes a little panicked; CONNIE almost drops all her stuff)_

 **STEVEN:** Okay, WAAAIIIIIT! _(Everyone stops and looks at him.)_ I can just ask Dad and the Gems for their jokes. _(He opens his mouth to speak to the whole ensemble, then notices CONNIE's struggle and assists her, then addresses the crowd again.)_

 **STEVEN:** I'm giving my friend Connie a tour of the town. Say hi!

 **ENSEMBLE:** Hi, Connie!

 **CONNIE:** Oh, um, hi everyone! Th-this is kind of overwhelming… _(shyly)_ Wow - I've never really had any friends until I met Steven, and now there's all of you - this is so cool!

 **STEVEN:** Everything's cool in Beach City! Because -

When you're in

 _(deep breath)_

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaach

Cityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…

 _(music swells as he holds the note)_

 **ENSEMBLE** _(while STEVEN still holds "y")_

In Beeeeeeeeach City

 **STEVEN & CONNIE: **Beach City! _(They put down their stuff and raise their arms)_

 **ALL**

 _(dancing)_

Everything's alright

The sky and the sea

Are as blue as can be

In Be-each Ci-i-ty-y!

In Beeeeeach City

You'll always have a friend

So let's give a hand

For making new friends!

Welcome to Beach City!

So let's give a hand

 _(little music break, possibly some epic dance moves)_

For making new friends

 _(repeat previous stage direction, with different moves)_

 **FRYMANS:**

Whatever I see

 **RONALDO:**

Is a conspiracy!

 **COOL KIDS:**

New friends guarantee

 **MAYOR DEWEY:**

One more vote for me!

 **ALL**

Three cheers for Steven

And Con-niee…

 _(Here the townspeople might lift the kids on their shoulders, or just motion towards them - put them on the spot. STEVEN's eating it up, CONNIE's sheepish but also kind of liking it)_

 **ALL**

Welll-

-coome

tooo

Beeach

Ci-tyyyyyyyyy!

 _(Huge dramatic finishing note. Sopranos can switch up an octave or two. The instrumentals are having fun down in the orchestra pit. At the ending bit, GREG enters and slides onto center stage on his knees, wearing sunglasses, ripping out a snazztacular electric guitar finish. End. Hold poses for duration of raucous applause.)_

 **MAYOR DEWEY:** All righty, everyone, excellent job! Back to your lives! And remember to vote for me!

 _(The townspeople exit, all giving variations of "That was awesome, Steven!" and "Great to meet you, Connie!" GREG and the kids stay on stage; they may need to help him stand up, and he may snitch some food from CONNIE's pile)_

 **GREG:** Heya, kiddos.

 **STEVEN:** Hi, Dad!

 **CONNIE:** Hey, Mr. Universe. How are things at the car wash?

 **GREG:** Eh, same old, same old. But thanks for asking. Is that a real bomb?

 _(Both kids shrug)_

 **STEVEN:** Onion gave it to us.

 **GREG:** I think you might want to get away from that.

 _(CONNIE picks up the bomb and throws it as far away as she can. You can choose which direction she throws - offstage, into the audience, take your pick.)_

 **GREG:** So I heard all the ruckus you guys are making. What kind of joke are you looking for?

 **STEVEN & CONNIE: **The funniest joke you've ever heard!

 **GREG:** _(sitting down; the kids follow suit, excitedly listening)_ Oh, boy. Well, I don't know if it's really the funniest one _ever_ , but the first one off the top of my head is...what's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a tub of glue?

 **CONNIE:** Ooh, ooh, I know this one! You can tune a piano...but you can't tuna fish!

 _(All three laugh, STEVEN most enthusiastically)_

 **CONNIE:** But - what about the tub of glue?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah?

 **GREG:** Ah, I knew you'd get stuck there.

 _(The kids wait a second for an explanation, then the realization hits and they laugh harder than at any of the previous jokes)_

 **STEVEN:** That IS the best I've ever heard! I guess we don't even have to ask the Gems now!

 **GREG:** Really? Are you sure? I mean, the Gems have been around for thousands of years - I bet they've got plenty of more jokes -

 **STEVEN:** _(gasps)_ Oh my gosh Dad you're right! Come on, Connie, let's go ask them right now! _(he grabs her hand and starts running offstage)_ Thanks, Dad! Bye!

 **GREG:** Wh - hey, wait! _(He stands, but they are already gone. He smiles and shakes his head, then glances down at the pile of stuff they left and good-naturedly chuckles.)_ Kids these days, always leaving messes for their old man to pick up - _(He picks up the stuff. Then he glances at where the kids have run off. A single clarinet plays a bit of the_ Look At Me _melody, then ends with a gentle cymbal roll as GREG walks offstage in the opposite direction. Blackout.)_


	4. Scene 2: The War and Danger Zone

_(Switch set to the inside of STEVEN's house: small, cute, quaint; easy to see that STEVEN is the only one who really uses the place, even though the Gems are often there too. It's pretty tidy thanks to PEARL, but messy enough thanks to STEVEN and AMETHYST. There's a big, majestic painting of ROSE above the door. On one side or in the back, the cute little living room opens up into the dramatic stony interior of the temple, including the warp pad and the door to the Gems' rooms. As the lights go up, STEVEN and CONNIE run through the front door, excited to ask the Gems about their jokes - but the Gems are not onstage.)_

 **STEVEN:** GarnetAmethystPearl! We have a - _(realizes they're not there)_ Guys? _(CONNIE waits in the living room while he does a quick run around the house, calling for the Gems)_ Huh, I guess they're on a mission or something. Uhh...what do you think we should do while we wait for them to get back?

 **CONNIE:** Maybe we could look up some jokes online?

 **STEVEN:** I don't have a computer. Ooh! We could watch Crying Breakfast Friends! That show's full of good jokes!

 **CONNIE:** _(baffled and skeptical)_ Crying Breakfast Friends?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah! _(running to his TV set)_ It's an award-winning animation program with a well-rounded, breakfast-themed cast of quirky characters - Sniffling Croissant, Spilt Milk, Weeping Egg Cup-here, I'll even bring the TV over so we can watch it in the living room!

 _(He drags/throws/brings the TV to center stage and turns it on. STEVEN and CONNIE sit eagerly down in front of it, excited to watch. It begins benignly, but then suddenly cuts off in a buzz of static)_

 **CONNIE:** Uh-oh, what happened?

 **STEVEN:** Aww, this was happening yesterday too - hold on. _(gets up)_ Amethyst did something to it that seemed to - _(he starts kicking the TV)_ work - a little -

 _(The static stops, causing STEVEN and CONNIE to "hooray", but then they fall silent when they realize that it isn't Sniffling Croissant speaking to them)_

 **PERIDOT** _(on screen):_ This is Peridot, transmitting on all frequencies from abandoned Crystal System colony planet Earth, to Yellow Diamond. My mission has been compromised! My escort AND informant are gone, and I am now STRANDED! PLEASE SEND HELP!

 _(The message repeats itself, continuing as ambience behind dialogue. CONNIE and STEVEN are both stunned.)_

 **STEVEN:** _(suddenly panicked)_ Nooo! What about Crying Breakfast Friends?!

 **CONNIE:** Wait, Steven - a peridot is a type of gem. Is this person another of the Crystal Gems?

 **STEVEN:** I don't think so. I've never seen her before. And a real Crystal Gem would respect Crying Breakfast Friends! _(kicks the TV again)_

 **CONNIE:** Do you think we should tell Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl?

 **STEVEN:** _(nods)_ But how to call them...? Ooh! The Warp Whistle! _(He runs through the house and finds the warp whistle, a little blue flutey thing. He takes a comical deep breath before blowing it; it makes a cutesy little alien music noise. Immediately there is a flash of light over the warp pad, and the Gems appear)_

 **PEARL:** Steven! _(runs over and begins fussing over him)_ We came as fast as we could! Is there an emergency? Are you hurt?!

 _(STEVEN says nothing; just points to the TV. The Gems glance at it and are surprised; both PEARL and AMETHYST look to GARNET for the answer.)_

 **GARNET:** Peridot must be stopped.

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah, but how? She could be anywhere!

 **PEARL:** _(know-it-all)_ No, no, she can't be just _anywhere._ If she truly is transmitting on _all_ Earth frequencies, she must be located at one incredibly powerful transmitter, and the only place like that that she could use is -

 **CONNIE:** But wait - why do we need to stop her?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah. She sounds like she just wants to go home.

 **PEARL:** Wh- _(realizes the kids never learned about the war or other gems)_ W-well - there's - _(hems and haws for a second, then gives up.)_ Garnet?

 _(GARNET is silent, stoic. Then she walks over and turns off the TV. PERIDOT stops. GARNET kneels to be at STEVEN's eye level.)_

 **GARNET:** Listen, Steven. You and I and Amethyst and Pearl aren't the only Gems. And not all Gems are good. Some of them are very, very _bad._

 _(Music for_ The War _begins - slow, dark, ominous orchestra. GARNET stands up and takes center as the lights dim; STEVEN and CONNIE nervously move to the couch, while PEARL and AMETHYST look on)_

Milennia ago

 _(Fog machines! Blue and green lights! PEARL and AMETHYST harmonizing "aah"s on minor chords! Spoopy war drama!)_

Gems traveled far from home

To find another world

To destroy -

 _(BAM)_

\- and turn into their own.

 _(Quick, urgent-sounding drumbeats. GARNET steps back as dancers representing early humans and Homeworld Gems - including ROSE - enter the front of the stage from each side. They walk back and forth for a few measures, then dance-pantomime the events of the war as GARNET sings them)_

 **GARNET**

They first arrived to colonize

To exploit and to explore

To build and share with the people there

Until a conflict took the floor

Their resources died, so instead they tried

To drain the planet's core

To exterminate the humans that your mother grew to love

So Rose Quartz began a war

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

Aaa-a war

 **GARNET**

The War

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

Aaa-The War

 **GARNET**

A war, a thousand years

A war of death and tears

A war against our home

The worst I've ever known

 _(Dramatic beat of silence before continuing into an instrumental/dance break, which continues to be dominated by war drums. The dancers divide into sides: humans and Crystal Gems versus Homeworld Gems. Our current Crystal Gems join the dancers - PEARL sticking close to ROSE, AMETHYST representing the Earth-grown soldiers fighting for Homeworld, and GARNET keeping center stage. Break lasts about 16 measures, then GARNET starts singing again and the dancers (still including AMETHYST and PEARL) resume the dance-pantomime)_

 **GARNET**

And so our forces started forth

Behind your mother's shield

Gemstones were shattered, their pieces were scattered

Upon the battlefield

In the final fight to send Gems right

Back where they were before

We held to our advantage and we kept on pushin' on

'Til the Crystal Gems won the war

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

 _(crescendo)_

We won the war!

 **GARNET**

 _(key change)_

But the victory came at a cost

The war was won, but our friends were lost

And we could never go back home

Worst war I've ever known

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

Aaa-The War

 **GARNET**

A war, a thousand years

A war of death and tears

A war against our home

Worst war I've ever known.

 _(drum roll; ritardando; PEARL and AMETHYST solemnly take their places on either side of GARNET. Dancers rhythmically march offstage during the final measures of singing)_

Worst war Earth's ever known.

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

Aaa-The War

 **GARNET**

The Waaaaar.

 _(As soon as the note ends and all the dancers are offstage, a loud, conclusive single drumbeat ends the song. GARNET, PEARL, and AMETHYST freeze. Lights gradually fade back up. All three Gems are very somber; STEVEN and CONNIE are visibly shaken.)_

 **CONNIE:** That...must've been really bad.

 **GARNET:** And if Peridot brings any other Gems back, they'll just start the whole thing over again. _(determined; back-to-business)_ We need to find Peridot, cut off the transmission, and capture her immediately. Pearl?

 **PEARL:** Hm? Oh! The only place powerful enough to transmit over the whole earth is the Crystal Communication Hub.

 **GARNET:** Then that's where we need to go. Amethyst?

 **AMETHYST** _(still pretty dour from the song)_ : Yeah?

 **GARNET:** Are you alright?

 _(A little surprised, AMETHYST loosens and softens.)_

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah. Yeahh, I'm good. _(grins)_ Let's go bust this shrimp!

 **PEARL:** _(to AMETHYST)_ Oh, would you at least TRY to be serious for once? _(to the kids)_ Steven, Connie, take care of each other. We'll be back before dark.

 _(They start walking toward the warp, buy STEVEN chases after them)_

 **STEVEN:** Waaaiit! I wanna come too! I wanna see the communication thingy! And I can help, I have my mom's shield! See? _(He lifts his shirt, revealing the gemstone on his stomach, and tries to summon the shield from it. And fails.)_

 **CONNIE:** Can I come too? I can...be a lookout, or something.

 **PEARL:** _(good-natured, motherly)_ No, no, no. Steven, the powers you inherited from Rose aren't fully developed yet. And what with you being half-human, we aren't even sure if they will completely develop anytime soon. And Connie doesn't have powers at all. You need to stay at home where it's safe.

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah, we're gonna be totally wreckin' stuff. There's gonna be craziness and pieces flyin' all over - we don't want ya to get clobbered.

 **GARNET:** Not to mention the chance of a fight if we encounter Peridot.

 **STEVEN:** Aww, please? Can't I help?

 **CONNIE:** Please? The Earth is our home, too - we want to help protect it!

 **GARNET:** Uh-uh. Now don't give me that face - it's for your own good. Our adventures aren't just fun and games. You could get really hurt.

And when you've been around as long as me,

Getting hurt ain't quite the worst

But you're brand new,

So we gotta leave you

Safe at home,

Away from the dan-ger zo-one

 _(Music for_ Danger Zone _begins. It's got a hip-hop beat with bass synthesizer tones and minimalist/electronic instrumentals)_

 **GARNET**

You don't belong

Near these fighting machines

I can see the future

And it ain't that clean

In a fight you might fall

In a fight you might bleed

You might be crushed, burned, speared, or fricasseed

We're glad you wanna help, but we can do it alone

We're keeping you out of the danger zone

 **PEARL & AMETHYST**

We're keeping you out of the danger zone

 **STEVEN:** But what about you guys?

 **PEARL:** Oh, don't worry about us, Steven. Gems are much better prepared for danger than humans.

We're agile and skilled

 **AMETHYST**

And strong and tough!

 **PEARL**

Just the perfect blend -

 **AMETHYST**

\- for wreckin' stuff!

 **PEARL**

 _(annoyed with AMETHYST interrupting; might take measures to ensure she stays quiet for the next bit)_

But you're too small

To be _(finger quotes)_ 'wrecking' at all

You're staying home

Out of the danger zone

 **AMETHYST**

 _(pushes her way to upstage PEARL)_

Garnet and I,

We were made to be strong!

The danger zone's exactly

Where Gems belong

A Gem doesn't fall

A Gem doesn't bleed

And if we get speared, burned, or fricasseed

We can just regenerate, long as we don't crack our stone

We'll be just fine in the danger zone

 **CONNIE:** Regenerate?

 **PEARL:** If we become fatally injured, we can retreat to our gemstones for a while and come back good as new.

 **AMETHYST:** It usually happens to me. _(PEARL nudges her a little.)_ Okay, always to me.

 **GARNET:** But if your gemstone is broken, it's game over. And Steven, we don't know if you have the power to regenerate.

You won't be just fine in the danger zone.

 **STEVEN:** But what if I _can?_ Gimme a chance!

 _(A piano, light and airy, takes the front of the instrumental as PEARL takes center stage for the bridge)_

 **PEARL**

Steven, we don't want to risk it

You're just too important to lose

Your destiny

Your legacy

Rose Quartz lives on in you!

We're here to protect you

That's why we must leave you

Saafe aat hooome -

 _(building)_

Away from the daaaan-geeer zoooone -

 _(breaks tension; music cuts off)_

And Connie, we don't want to have to explain anything to your parents.

 _(CONNIE is unimpressed and a little miffed by this, while STEVEN is still just sad that the Gems won't let them come. GARNET steps to center, gently pushing PEARL and AMETHYST away, and kneels in front of the kids. The music starts up again, similar to the beginning but softer and quieter.)_

 **GARNET**

Our adventures aren't just fun and games

You could get really hurt.

When you've been around as long as us,

Getting hurt ain't quite the worst.

You two still have years to go-o-o

Stay safe at home

And when you're all grown

We'll see if you're ready for

The dan-ger zoooooooone.

 **STEVEN:** _(sighs)_ Okay.

 **GARNET:** _(ruffles his hair and smiles)_ Don't worry. We'll be back soon. _(She stands up and heads toward the warp pad, gesturing for AMETHYST and PEARL to follow her.)_

 **PEARL:** You two can help yourselves to any snacks in the kitchen. If we're not back before dinner, you can ask Greg to fix something up for you.

 **AMETHYST:** Oh, but don't touch my triple-decker peanut-butter-and-motor-oil sandwich in the fridge!

 **GARNET:** Be good, you two. Bye.

 **AMETHYST:** Later, Ste-man!

 **STEVEN & CONNIE: **Bye, guys!

 _(The Gems warp away. STEVEN and CONNIE sit back on the couch.)_

 **CONNIE:** Well, I guess now we could go back into town to hang out with your dad.

 **STEVEN:** Yeah, okay. _(sudden realization; panic)_ I forgot to ask the Gems for jokes!

 _(Blackout)_


	5. Scene 3: Fusion Decision

**A/N:** _ **Surprise! I still exist! Sorry about the delay. Thanks so much for all the reviews/follows/faves! :3**_

* * *

 _(Switch set to the Communication Hub. A tall, dramatic spire is at the center, with scattered rocks surrounding.)_

 **PEARL:** I was right! The Hub's been repaired!

 **AMETHYST:** _(rolls eyes)_ Yeah, yeah, we know you're always right about EVERYTHING…

 **PEARL:** I _am_ always right about everything.

 **AMETHYST:** Ugh, I hate it when you do that. You get this look on your face -

 _(PEARL smiles smugly; AMETHYST grimaces)_

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah, that's the one.

 **GARNET:** Don't squabble, you two. If we're going to stop this message, we need to destroy this tower. And if we want to be strong enough to do that, we need a giant Gem. We need fusion.

 _(PEARL and AMETHYST share a confused glance)_

 **AMETHYST:** What, you think me and Pearl should fuse?

 **PEARL:** You mean ' _Pearl and I_ should fuse'.

 **AMETHYST:** What?

 **GARNET:** The only thing powerful enough to destroy this tower is two Gems combined into one. So yes, I say that you two should fuse.

 **AMETHYST:** Euggghhh...

 **PEARL:** _(exasperated)_ Garnet, it'd be too difficult for me and Amethyst to synchronize. I mean - our personalities are nearly opposite! She's reckless, I'm not; she's messy, I'm not -

 **AMETHYST:** You're naggy and uptight and I'm not!

 **GARNET:** Well, if you two can't get along, then one of you will have to fuse with me.

 _(PEARL and AMETHYST immediately stop bickering and look to GARNET in surprise. Then they both grin excitedly)_

 **BOTH:** _(in unison; raising hands)_ I'll fuse with you!

 **GARNET:** Amethyst raised her hand first.

 _(AMETHYST screeches in excitement; PEARL frowns)_

 **AMETHYST:** Yeahhh! Let's mash it up!

 **PEARL:** Wait! Ah - Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... _unstable_ when your personalities combine. We need to be careful. Fuse with me instead!

 **GARNET:** We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.

 **AMETHYST:** Aw, yeah! Bigger - badder - better! _(talking very quickly and very excitedly, almost on the verge of being hysterical, bouncing around the stage)_ Garnet plus Amethyst equals Sugilite's comin' to town! Wooo! Okay okay I'm ready!

 _(GARNET and AMETHYST take center stage, getting into position to dance. PEARL scampers behind GARNET, hesitant to interfere but certain that Sugilite probably isn't a good idea)_

 **PEARL:** Ohh - _(taps GARNET on the shoulder. Light, simple percussion tones begin for_ Fusion Decision _as PEARL decides on a way to word her thoughts delicately)_

Listen, Garnet, just one minute

Can't we stop and think a bit?

We don't want to cause a to-do

Just, perhaps, consider it

You two can be sort of risky

When you fuse into Sugilite

I think you can fuse with me, and

Make the fusion decision right.

 _(Cutesy one-measure instrumental conclusion; PEARL thinks she has done a very good job of presenting her argument, and GARNET seems almost inclined to agree. But AMETHYST is quickly here to remind you that the song is not over yet.)_

 **AMETHYST**

Hold it right there; that's just not fair!

I'm the one decided on!

We don't need this neat-freak butt-kiss

 _(PEARL is appalled by this description)_

We just need somebody strong

When you two mix - form Sardonyx -

Ya know how obnoxious she can be

I think you can do this right, and

Make your fusion decision me.

 **PEARL:** That doesn't make any grammatical sense.

 **AMETHYST:** Well, it rhymes and it gets my point, all right?

 **PEARL** _(primly)_

Garnet, can't you see all the trouble she could be?

Just fuse with me and we'll complete this easily

It'll get done faster; there will be no disaster

Make the fusion deci-siooooon

 _(instrumental flourish)_

Fuse with me

 _(AMETHYST growls at PEARL and draws GARNET's attention back to herself.)_

 **AMETHYST**

Listen, Garnet, don't you forget

Just how great it feels to be-us!

All that fortitude, all that attitude

All that giant stuff we can-bust

Steven's not here - we're free and clear

To be a bit destructozoid

Just fuse with me, and we can be

Buff and cool and - you get my point.

Garnet, can't you see -

 **PEARL**

 _(words are directed at GARNET, but annoyed tone directed at AMETHYST)_

\- all the trouble she could be?

 **AMETHYST**

 _(ignoring PEARL)_

Just fuse with me and we'll complete this easily

It'll get done faster -

 **PEARL**

\- it'll be a disaster!

 **BOTH**

Make the fusion deci-siooon

 _(They sing the next part overlapping in unison)_

 **AMETHYST**

When you two mix - form Sardonyx -

You know how obnoxious she can be

I think you can do this right and

 **P** **EARL**

Can't you see all the trouble she could be?

Just fuse with me and we'll complete this easily

It'll get done faster, there'll be no disaster

 **BOTH**

Make the fusion decision

 **PEARL**

She's too tough!

 **AMETHYST**

She's too brittle!

 **PEARL**

You're just too much!

 **AMETHYST**

You're just too little!

 **GARNET:** ENOUGH!

 _(PEARL and AMETHYST tense at GARNET's shout, then sheepishly back off and step away from each other.)_

 **GARNET:** First of all, you two seriously need to learn to get along. Second, this is my decision to make. And I'm deciding that Sardonyx is the better option right now.

 _(PEARL gasps and chokes on an excited sob)_

 **AMETHYST:** What? But -

 **GARNET:** I've decided, Amethyst. Pearl's right. You and I together can cause a lot of problems. I can be rash. You can be reckless. And we can both get carried away.

So do you see all the trouble we could be?

My fusion deci-siooon-

 **AMETHYST** _(dejected)_ **& PEARL **_(honored)_

Your fusion deci-siooooon

 **GARNET**

 _(turns to PEARL)_

Pearl, it's you and me.

 **PEARL:** _(exhales and dries eyes)_ Okay. I'm right behind you.

 _(As they prepare to dance, AMETHYST meanders to stage right and sits on the ground, reluctantly watching the show. Music begins as GARNET and PEARL perform a short half-ballet, half-hip-hop duet. They come together at center stage and disappear into a flash of light; when the light fades, they have been replaced by - )_

 **SARDONYX:** Goooood evening, everybody!

 _(AMETHYST rolls her eyes.)_

 **SARDONYX:** This is the _lovely_ Sardonyx, coming to you a-live from the soon-to-be-former Communication Hub! How are y'all doin' tonight?

 **AMETHYST:** Uhh, I'm the only one here.

 **SARDONYX:** Ohoho, Amethyst, don't make me break fourth wall here! _(throws a sly wink/gesture at the audience)_ Sorry, I'm just - so excited to be here! You see, I haven't exactly been myself lately.

 _(Here she laughs way too hard at her own joke.)_

 **AMETHYST:** _(sarcastically)_ Ehehe, fusion joke. So hey, are you gonna smash this thing so we can go home or not?

 **SARDONYX:** Hmm… 'smash' is the word one would use to describe what _someone else_ might do. _(pulls out war hammer)_ Now, the proper words to describe yours truly are - _(begins destroying tower in a very calculated, careful manner)_ Specific! Intelligent! Accurate!

 **AMETHYST:** You gonna monologue about yourself the whole time?

 **SARDONYX:** Faultless! _Elegant!_ Controlled! Surgical! Graceful!

 **AMETHYST:** 'Kay, well, if I'm not needed here -

 **SARDONYX:** Aaand - _powerful!_

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah. Imma leave.

 _(SARDONYX has been entirely ignoring AMETHYST this whole time, and doesn't take any notice of her now as she exits.)_

 **SARDONYX:** But yes, occasionally, I am known to smash.

 _(She takes the final blow, and the Hub is completely destroyed - and AMETHYST is completely out of sight.)_

 **SARDONYX:** _(presuming that she still has an audience besides the actual audience)_ Now just remember, everybody: if you ever have need of the lovely Sardonyx, let Pearl and Garnet know. I'll be there in a flash - literally!

 _(Flash. SARDONYX splits back up into GARNET and PEARL. The two look at each other in silence for a moment, then begin excitedly laughing and celebrating. Their laughter is cut short when they realize that they are alone onstage)_

 **PEARL:** Wh-where'd Amethyst go?

 **GARNET:** Hm. She must have gone back to the temple while we were distracted.

 **PEARL:** Oh, I hope she -

 **GARNET:** Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be fine.

 **PEARL:** Well, that's not what I was going to -

 _(GARNET exits before PEARL has a chance to argue. PEARL watches her go. She smiles and wraps her arms around herself, sighing contentedly.)_

 **PEARL:** Now why don't we do that more often?

 _(Her smile fades. Play a little bit of the_ Fusion Decision _melody, but a titch lower and darker._ She _bites her lip, thinking; then she runs offstage to catch up with GARNET. Blackout.)_


	6. Scene 4: The Plan

_(Switch set to STEVEN's house, the next day. STEVEN, CONNIE, GARNET, and AMETHYST are watching Crying Breakfast Friends. The kids are enjoying it, while AMETHYST is just really confused; GARNET is expressionless as ever)_

 **AMETHYST:** I don't get this cartoon, man. Why don't they just eat the ice cream off the floor?

 **CONNIE:** _(nonchalant)_ That would be pretty unsanitary.

 **AMETHYST:** Yeah, but they don't have to cry about it!

 **STEVEN:** I'm really glad your parents let you come over here two days in a row, Connie.

 **CONNIE:** Me too. I guess they're just excited that I'm finally making friends.

 _(Suddenly the screen goes fuzzy)_

 **STEVEN:** It's the signal again!

 **GARNET:** _(standing)_ Peridot!

 _(PEARL enters)_

 **GARNET:** Pearl! The signal is back.

 **PEARL:** Again?

 **GARNET:** We need to get back out there.

 **PEARL:** Right. Steven, be good while we're gone. Amethyst, come on.

 **AMETHYST:** Ughh, why do I have to come? You two are just gonna fuse again and all I'll do is watch.

 **GARNET:** Better than watching Crying Breakfast Friends.

 _(AMETHYST can't deny this. She slumps off STEVEN's bed and slowly follows PEARL and GARNET to the warp pad. They warp away before she catches up; the kids watch in concern as she warps after them alone. STEVEN turns off the TV.)_

 **CONNIE:** Amethyst seems pretty down.

 **STEVEN:** Yeah… Wait, did she say Pearl and Garnet were gonna fuse? Aww, I wanna come and see!

 **CONNIE:** Fuse?

 **STEVEN:** Yeah. When Gems come together, they can do a little dance and then fuse into a brand-new giant super-cool Gem! Pearl and Amethyst form Opal, Garnet and Amethyst form Sugilite - but I've never seen Pearl and Garnet fuse before!

 **CONNIE:** Maybe that's why Amethyst is upset - she feels left out.

 **STEVEN:** _(nods; brushing off his own disappointment to focus on AMETHYST)_ We gotta help her out.

 **CONNIE:** Maybe she could fuse with Garnet?

 **STEVEN:** Well...the last time Garnet and Amethyst fused, it didn't go so well. Sugilite went all crazy, and I got this cool scar _(lifts his bangs to display a barely-visible scratch on his forehead)_ , and that's part of the reason they're scared I'll get hurt if I go on missions and stuff. They're both really sorry about it. I think seeing Garnet and Pearl fuse is making Amethyst feel extra bad about it now.

 **CONNIE:** Well, what if we help Amethyst make it up to Garnet?

 **STEVEN:** That's a great idea! And - _(growing more and more excited)_ hold on, I'm getting an idea - oohh, I know how we can help!

 **CONNIE:** What's your plan?

 **STEVEN:** Just wait until Amethyst gets back. Then I'll tell you guys everything. Let's just say that tonight, _(determined)_ we're gonna catch Peridot.

 _(Blackout.)_


	7. Scene 5: Garnet's Rage Rap

_(Switch set to the Communication Hub, which is still broken from SARDONYX's last visit. Enter STEVEN, AMETHYST, and CONNIE.)_

 **STEVEN:** Peridot's been back here twice, so the odds are good she'll come back again, right? Bam! That's when we'll get her.

 _(CONNIE agrees with a few playful kung fu moves/noises)_

 **AMETHYST:** _(perking up at the idea)_ Yeah. Bam!

 **STEVEN:** Garnet'll be so impressed!

 **AMETHYST:** And then she'll think I'm cool again!

 _(They set up camp with a telescope behind some rocks and wait for PERIDOT to arrive. Time passes uneventfully, each of them taking turns looking through the telescope. Eventually they become bored, and STEVEN decides to pass the time with the 'magic sausage' trick.)_

 **AMETHYST:** _(disappointed)_ I don't think she's coming. _(notices STEVEN)_ Uh, what are you doing?

 **STEVEN:** If you make your eyes blurry, it looks like there's a little magic sausage in between your fingers.

 _(CONNIE tries it, putting on her glasses and squinting. She laughs when she sees that it works.)_

 **CONNIE:** Cool.

 **AMETHYST:** _(also trying)_ This is stupid. It doesn't even work.

 **STEVEN:** _(lifts AMETHYST's bangs off her eye)_ Try this!

 **AMETHYST:** Hey, don't mess with my - oohhh.

 **STEVEN:** Well, even if we didn't catch Peridot, at least I taught you guys a great way to pass the time!

 _(Suddenly, a SILHOUETTE appears beside the Communication Hub, its features and exact shape hard to make out. It's clearly humanoid, tall and thin, with a vaguely triangular hairdo.)_

 **STEVEN:** _(gasps, then whispers)_ Peridot!

 _(Now alert, AMETHYST and CONNIE scramble behind STEVEN and watch over his shoulder. STEVEN looks through the telescope as the SILHOUETTE begins using beams of light to lift the pillars and repair the tower.)_

 **STEVEN:** Whoa. She's lifting the pillar guys, and she's fixing the Hub...What's she doing up there? _(he fiddles with the telescope)_ Enhance! ...H-hey, for some reason Peridot kinda looks like…

 _(Fully repaired, the Hub begins to glow, illuminating the SILHOUETTE - and revealing her to be none other than - )_

 **STEVEN:** _Pearl?_

 **AMETHYST & CONNIE: **What?!

 **AMETHYST:** Lemme see! _(she nudges STEVEN out of the way and looks through the telescope. PEARL exits hurriedly.)_

 **AMETHYST:** Oh, no.

 _(She drops the telescope and slumps to the ground. All three of them sit there in silence for a moment, dumbfounded.)_

 **STEVEN:** Why would Pearl rebuild the Hub?

 **CONNIE:** Maybe she's trying to study how it works.

 **AMETHYST:** _(less confused and more dour than the kids)_ No, I don't think that's it.

 **STEVEN:** Maybe she's trying to get us more channels?

 _(Cutting off their discussion, the warp activates, and PEARL and GARNET enter. STEVEN, CONNIE, and AMETHYST get back into hiding positions; PEARL is pretending to have no idea how the Hub was fixed.)_

 **PEARL:** I can't believe Peridot is giving us this much trouble. But it hardly matters, right, Garnet? We can disable this tower as many times as we need to, together! Okay? Okay. I'm ready. Are you ready?

 **AMETHYST:** I know what she's doing.

 **STEVEN:** You do?

 _(Oblivious, PEARL and GARNET begin their fusion dance, but are quickly interrupted by - )_

 **AMETHYST:** Stop!

 _(GARNET and PEARL freeze; the former confused, the latter worried. AMETHYST, STEVEN, and CONNIE come out from behind the rock and stand beside GARNET and PEARL.)_

 **PEARL:** Steven? Amethyst? What are you doing here? I-is something the matter?

 **AMETHYST:** _(hesitant)_ You - you shouldn't…

 **STEVEN:** Pearl...we saw you.

 **PEARL:** What?

 **STEVEN:** You need to tell Garnet it was you!

 **GARNET:** I don't understand.

 _(PEARL slowly, fearfully turns her focus back to GARNET)_

 **PEARL:** I-I'm sorry - it's just so much fun being Sardonyx with you -

 _(GARNET drops PEARL to the ground.)_

 **GARNET:** That's why I couldn't see us finding Peridot.

 **PEARL:** _(panicked, standing and backing up)_ Nono, let me explain -

 **GARNET:** _(angrily advancing on PEARL)_ You've been fixing the hub!

 **PEARL:** It really was Peridot! The first time -

 **GARNET:** You tricked me!

 _(STEVEN, CONNIE, and AMETHYST are also backing away, equally scared on PEARL's behalf)_

 **PEARL:** No, nonono, I just -

 _(Low, harsh percussion with discordant offbeats begins for_ Garnet's Rage Rap, _immediately communicating danger and tension)_

 **GARNET**

You lied to me, and that's not okay!

I don't care if you apologize, there's nothing you can say!

I trusted you! I believed in you!

All this was just a trick, it was just an excuse.

 **PEARL:** No -

 **GARNET (cont'd)**

That communication could've brought back the war!

Did you think this was a game? Did you think you could ignore

The whole entire reason we were doing this for?

Peridot is out there! Did you forget?

She's tryna bring Homeworld here! _Did you forget?!_

No, you just ignored it, just pretend it wasn't real

Just put the earth in danger so that you can get your thrill!

 **PEARL:** No! I-i - We just needed a reason to fuse!

 **GARNET (cont'd)**

You needed reason, wanted fusion, but that's not what it's about

Fake a reason for the fusion and the fusion doesn't count

Me and you, one and two, we oughta equal three

But two's nothing when the one is gonna practice to deceive!

Communication and trust, that's what makes us great

But nothing's great, we're nothing when that trust is betrayed.

You betrayed me! You've enraged me! Now I'm furious, I'm livid,

I'm fire and I'm ice and you ain't gonna be forgiven!

There's nothing you can say to me! There's nothing you can do!

 **PEARL:** _(desperately)_ I just wanted to share a few more victories with you!

 **GARNET (cont'd)**

Those weren't victories!

Those were only fallacies!

Travesties of triumphs, no achievement, just a tragedy.

That's right, it's a tragedy! No happy ending here!

Apologize and agonize and I'll keep saying loud and clear,

I'm enraged! Irate!

I'm furious! I'm livid!

I'm fire and I'm ice and you ain't gonna be forgiven!

So back up! Back up!

I don't wanna hear excuses!

Keep on backin' away, cus you don't wanna see me do this!

You're getting what's coming, you've crossed the line!

You're the danger zone, and you won't be just fine!

 **AMETHYST:** _(throws herself between GARNET and PEARL)_ Wait, Garnet!

 _(Beat ends and music quiets abruptly; tension remains thick, low orchestral chords underlining the rest of the scene. STEVEN and CONNIE are visibly scared - they've never seen anger like this before. It's clear to everyone that AMETHYST's interruption is the only thing stopping GARNET from physically attacking PEARL.)_

 **AMETHYST:** Y'know, we're so much weaker than you. Fusing with you is like our one chance to feel...stronger!

 **GARNET:** Don't defend her!

 **PEARL:** G-Garnet, please -

 **GARNET:** _That's enough! (turns away)_ Amethyst, fuse with me.

 **AMETHYST:** But -

 **GARNET:** _(grits teeth, cracks knuckles; her anger is no longer red hot but ice cold)_ Let's just get this over with.

 _(This time AMETHYST doesn't seem excited at all. She steels herself and dutifully walks toward GARNET. All it takes is one spin for SUGILITE to appear, and one punch for the tower to come crashing down. Volume of music heightens, with deep, dissonant drum and synth bass notes a la_ Synchronize/Sugilite _from the show.)_

 _(PEARL clutches at her abdomen, horrified by GARNET's anger and by her own actions. STEVEN and CONNIE worriedly glance at PEARL, then at SUGILITE, then at each other. They take hands, but can't quite find the solace they're looking for in each other's touch. Blackout.)_


End file.
